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James Hamilton, M. D.

Janie and Joe G.,

Yep, it was Steve.

Jim

Sheila McCarthy (Gardner)

More from the Steve Hodges canon: I remember him reading the dictionary every day while we waited in the cafeteria line at St. Agatha's .... 

Joseph Gentilini

I just read the article about the Newman Center and the new bishop that Mary Margaret suggested as the other side of the issue.  I had read this before somewhere else (I think the Catholic Times).  It makes very clear why I think the new bishop made a big mistake.  He never came to the Center or meet the Paulist Fathers.  He said they could stay for one year BUT would not be able to make any decisions about how the place would be run.  This is something that goes against the charism of the Paulist Fathers and their mission.  They would also have to allow very conservative groups to meet there, etc.  To me, this is exactly why I do not hold this bishop is good standing.  He may say it is about vocations, but I do not believe this was the primary reason for his action.  When he was told by the Paulist Fathers that the resident community supports all of the programs for the OSU students, the bishop said he was not interested in our money becuase he had big pockets of money from people who supported his vision.  He also said he was not interested much in graduate students, only undergraduates, and certainly not the resident community.  To me, this bishop has no credibility and I have some names that I call him when talking to others about him, but not words that I would repeat here.  I have no use for this bishop - none@!

David Mitchell

Too bad about the Paulist Fathers. My only personall experience with the ones at the OSU center was at my sister-in-law's wedding, and the Paualist priest gave one of the single most beautiful sermons I have ever heard. I have also known a little bit (second hand from friends) about some great work they had done years ago in their street missions in rough neighborhoods in San Francisco and Chicago.

AndI will never forget the words of the Paulist father who spoke to the guys at one of our Watterson "Career Days". He said something like, "If you have never been in love, been to work, or been in trouble, we probably can't use you".

Michael McLeod

Joe: I was going to go on about this from my own point of view but instead I'll post this story that quotes a friend of mine -- one I will never turn on.

Love you, dude -- and I've got your back when it comes to anyone who would judge you or try to regulate your behavior in matters that are none of their damn business. I'm sure I speak for many of your classmates.

Some terrible, backward things that amount to racism, pseudo-piety, and controlling, narrow-minded, backward-thinking people are happening down here in Florida, so I'm particularly sensitive to the issue as certain people try to turn back the clock on education and free thought and what I consider basic human dignity and privacy. I've made a lot of wonderful friends down here. As a rule we do not judge each other for how and to whom we express mutual love and affection. It works out pretty damn well.

Here's the story. The "All are welcome" part chills me to the bone.

"Paulist priests who have long headed ministry at The Ohio State University’s Catholic Newman Center have been removed by a newly-appointed bishop. It was a surprise move that some believe signals a more conservative approach to LGBTQ+ issues in the diocese, such as when the words “All Are Welcome” were removed from the Center’s signage.

St. Thomas More Newman Center, which ministers to students and others at the Columbus, Ohio, school, has been run by the Paulist Fathers for 66 years. For 25 years, they have been listed by New Ways Ministry as one of three LGBTQ-friendly parishes in the Diocese of Columbus.

For many, the decision to terminate the Paulists’ presence came as an abrupt surprise, according to the National Catholic Reporter. Bishop Earl Fernandes of Columbus was installed on May 31st, and a month later, he appointed a diocesan priest to head the Newman Center. His existing record on LGBTQ+ issues is negative, including a book he authored which endorsed the ban on gay men being accepted to seminaries.

Paulist Father Ed Nowak, who directed the Center, said the decision was “devastating.”

“In a diocese that is short of priests and personnel, to lose three able-bodied men overnight does seem unconscionable, and people are questioning that,” Nowak told the Columbus Dispatch.

Some think that new attitudes to LGBTQ+ issues in the diocese are part of the reason for the change.

According to NBC News, “many members of the Newman congregation say they believe the Paulists were asked to leave as part of a national conservative trend because the Newman Center opens its arms to the gay community.”

“Jesus spent a lot of time with the outcasts, the lepers, the prostitutes, and publicans,” Paulist Father Vinny McKiernan said. “So what’s wrong with dealing with the outcasts in the cast of characters of Jesus?”

A potential sign of such a shift also came this week when the words “All Are Welcome” were removed from the Center’s signage, prompting more questions about the future of ministry there.

LGBTQ+ parishioners have expressed dismay in response to the bishop’s decision. Joseph Gentilini is a gay man who has attended Mass at the Newman Center for over fifty years, including for over forty years with his partner.

“Where are they going to bury me?” he asked. “Do I have to deny who I am, or give up my partner? That’s not going to happen, so where do I go? My whole heart was just sucked out of me.”

However, Fernandes denies that the changes have anything to do with the Paulists’ welcome to LGBTQ+ Catholics, citing evangelization and vocations as his motivations for the order’s removal.

With the new diocesan leadership will come more lay movements, including new groups such as Courage and Opus Dei. Courage is a Catholic ministry to lesbian and gay people which promotes chastity by adhering to a 12-Step approach to sexuality. Opus Dei is an international lay Catholic organization which promotes a conservative, pre-Vatican II approach to faith and ministry.

“I would not feel comfortable anymore in a place that sanctioned Courage,” Gentilini told NCR. He does not know where he will go to Mass now that the Paulists have left the Newman Center as of July 31st.

Hundreds of people signed a letter asking the bishop to reconsider his decision. Many took the opportunity to thank the Paulists for encouraging their lives of faith.

As the Paulists look for new places to go, they have been moved by their parishioners’ and former students’ testimonies and letters of support. 

“To know how big an impact we’ve had on them is just so overwhelming,” Nowak said. 

Only time will reveal the new direction of the Newman Center in Columbus. The outpouring of support for the Paulists from the Columbus and Ohio State communities is a testament to the depth of their ministry’s impact on so many Catholics’ lives of faith."

—Grace Doerfler (she/her), New Ways Ministry, August 16, 2022

Joseph Gentilini

Thanks for your support and posting, Michael!! 

While I had not mentioned the gay issue in response to Mary Margaret, this is exactly what I think is behind the new bishop's kicking out the Paulist Fathers from the Newman Center at OSU. The Paulists never preached against Church teaching on this matter, but they were welcoming to us and learned to see God's life in us.  The bishop can say (and has said) that he wants to help individuals who have 'same-sex attractions' by helping them to renounce any sexual relationships between partners  and to live a life with no emotional and sexual love, etc. 

To label this issue as only SSA is to miss the point.  Being gay is an orientation, not strictly an attraction. It is a part of a person's personality and inherent to a person. That is like saying that I am attracted to wild shirt colors so I just won't wear these clothes anymore - it is something that I am tempted by, but will resist.  HOw would heterosexuals feel if someone would say that OSA is immoral, that I am attracted to the opposite sex (OSA) and so I will resist being attracted in the future and will live a life of celibacy, even if they are not called to celibacy - a life devoid of sexual love with a beloved.  Pure BS!

After about 10 years in conversion therapy, being prayed over by 'christians', dating women and having sexual relationships with them,  being unhappy, I am still gay. Having a gay relatoinship with my spouse, Leo, for 41 years is a life of love and devotion.  Before Leo I was tortured trying to live the life that the hierarchy preached and unhappy.  Now I live in a monogramous and holy relationship with Leo and with God who loves me as I am.

This bishop also says that gay men should not be priests.    For the bishop to say that gay men should not be priests, is denying the fact that many priests are gay and doing truly God's work in ministering to others.  It is a slam to these men who are doing good work.  Father Mychal Judge OFM died in 911 ministering to others at the World Trade Center and he was gay.

Frankly, the most oppressive priests towards gay men are closeted gay men who have not integrated their gayness with their personality and spirituality.  They are the ones who are most dangerous to the rest of us.  When someone comes across as having a real problem that gay men exist and are open about it makes me suspect that their may be a 'little fairy' in themselves that they haven't dealt with!

Joseph Gentilini

And this is exactly why I published my story in my book, A Gay Man's Journey to Self-Acceptance, Love, and Relationship.  

Michael McLeod

ok Joe. At first I wanted to bring back debate club and I guess I got argumentative about it -- I actually wrote a couple of responses to the stories I read and then erased them - because in the end I thought it made more sense to just tell  you I support you as a human being and a classmate and a human being born into a mystery we'll never figure out so why get too judgy about it. I did some reading last night and saw that the church is quite divided on the issue and so this thing at osu just reflects a much broader, actually global, dialogue. And that last word says it all, if the church is going to be a living, breathing, changing entitity in the world.

John Jackson

Well said, Joe.  I’m searching for something to add in support, but there’s no way to improve on what you’ve said. 

And I couldn’t agree more with Mike – removal of the “All Are Welcome” sign pretty much says it all.

Joseph Gentilini

THANK YOU, MICHAEL AND JOHN.  It means a great deal to me.  If the church is to survive, it will need to be open to dialogue on this issue and others.  If it doesn't, then it will be irrelevant. joe

Mary Margaret Clark (Schultheis)

Joe, Mike, John...the Church will always survive. Jesus Christ promised us that much.

John Jackson

So reassuring to know that at least one member of the Class of 66 has such a perfect understanding of the teachings of Jesus.  

Joseph Gentilini

Hi Mary Margaret, the church has survived since it's beginning but unless it meets people where they are and walks with them without discrimination (as did Jesus), it will be irrelevant to many persons. 

I recently read an article that  the younger generation are leaving Christianity in droves because they see the hypocrisy of so called Christians.  It seems to me that the only sins the church really preaches about concern sexuality and most of the time it is about gay sex.  I have never heard a homily or sermon about artificial birth control being used by persons, whether married or not.  According to most articles I have read, most American married Catholics practice artificial birth control, but the Church never talks about this.  Does the Church preach from the pulpit about the Pope's teaching on the death penalty?  I have never heard one and this is also condemned by the Pope.  Does the Church from the pulpit about the evil of nuclear war? I have never heard a homily about this either (although the Pope has taught this and has written about it).  The Pope has talked about the dangers of unregulated capitalism but I have never heard a sermon about this from the pulpit.  I have never heard a homily or serman about the social teaching of the church.

I once talked in a university class about my life and what the Church teaches.  I told them that the Church teaches that any sexual act where the orgasm of the penis is not in the vagina is immoral and condemned.  One married person did not believe me.  I told her to read Humanae Vitae written by Pope Paul V becuase this is exactly what it preaches.  One young man in the class had his eyes open becuase that meant that masturbation is condemned for the same reason.  Most American Catholics dissent from these teachings.

 A Trappist Abbot (and other priests and bishops within the confessional box and outside of it)  have told Leo and me that we are ahead of the church (small prophets) and that the church will change its teaching about this, but not in our lifetime.  The monk told us to love each other, love the church, and live our lives.  This is what we are doing.

One of teachings of the Church concerns the primacy of conscience, something that I have never heard preached in a homily or even written about in a diocescan paper.  The teaching says a person must have an informed conscience which means I must know and understand what the Church teaches about a subject which in my case concerns my gay relationship.  I have done this, but I dissent because I believe the Church is wrong.  Even Pope Benedict XVI - a very conservative pope -  wrote that a person must follow his/her conscience and not to do so is a sin. This is what I have done and continue to do. I live a mystery that God will one day (maybe in my next life) will reveal the answer.

For now, I remain in the institutional church because I believe my witness to the goodness of my gay relationship is changing the church's teaching but it will not happen in my lifetime.

Michael McLeod

This is one of those science vrs. faith debates, although, personally, I'd call it humanism vrs doctrine-ism. Either way it's like watching a hybrid sporting event with, say, a basketball team playing a soccer team, each one turning up with a different set of rules and regulations and traditions in their heads. You can wear your colors, get involved, cheer for your team and opine all you want, but if you're expecting a definitive outcome, fuggetaboutit. 

I do admire your patience, Joe. 

Deborah Alexander (Rogers)

Joe, I have always, since the St. Agatha days, known you to be a kind, smart, loving and gentle person.  Your sexuality does not change the person that you are. I'm sure many of our classmates are supportive of you, as I am.  You are blessed to have a long, loving relationship with your partner, which I believe is in God's plan for you.  It is a terrible shame that the new bishop removed the Paulist fathers and their welcoming attitude toward all God's children.  

Joseph Gentilini

I apologize for the misspellings in my messages.  I type fast and didn't have a check-finder.  Oh, my grade school nuns and my high school Dominicans would be upset.  mea culpa! 

Michael McLeod

Joe, re: your grammar & spelling: I had to supress the editor/schoolteacher in me but under the circumstances I let you slide. And trust me I've had worse mistakes, some of which even made it into print. Grateful for all the great editors I worked with over the years who caught the vast majority of my screw-ups.

Janie Albright (Blank)

Joe. So intent on reading the content missed any issues that might have needed editing. I think my brain just did an automatic edit. You express yourself so well. 

Mary Margaret Clark (Schultheis)

https://youtu.be/2Vw_X7IkXB0

Joseph Gentilini

Thanks, Deborah!  Thanks also to Michael and John. Your words have been balm for my wounds!  joe

Joseph Gentilini

John, I don't know if your response after Mary M was in response to her comment or my later one on what the church teaches????  Based on your previous response to me, I'll assume it was in response to my long response about what the church teaches.  joe

Joseph Gentilini

Hi Mary Margaret,

I opened your u-tube video about the organization COURAGE, which is a 12-step program for men and women who have same-sex attraction (SSA) and who accept the Church's teaching on sexuality.  In one of my remarks previously, I mentioned what I think about SSA and why I disagree with its premises.  SSA is based on psychological  and sociological theories which are now outdated as well as outdated moral thought.. 

I am aware that there is a big push for this organization in Catholic dioceses across the United States which I believe is happening because more gays and lesbians are coming out of the closet and affirming themselves.  Gay marriage is now legal and more of us have taken advantage of this opportunity. I think that the church is getting desparate to fight this movement.  To me, COURAGE has a very narrow view of human sexuality and is harmful to those who are struggling with their homosexuality. 

The video and the others produced by COURAGE are very slick and done professionally but the contents are harmful to those who struggle.  They encourage a person not to label themselves as gay or lesbian but to just say they are a peson with SSA which may be changed with therapy, although Courage  won't insist on conversion or reparative therapy which is what it is called.  It just puts out the possibility.  Of course, if a person thinks this is a possibility, many will do it in their desparation to be heterosexual.  This prevents a person from integrating their homosexuality within their personality and their spirituality and leaves them in some sort of limbo.

When I was in conversion therapy, i was also encouraged to see myself as a person who just was feeling inadequate as a man and/or as a heterosexual who hadn't found my so-called heterosexuality.  This was not helpful and not true!!   What I fear will happen is that many men and women who start down this road will end up living an unhappy life and possibly committing suicide.  For many years I thought of suicide and kept the means to do so in my top dresser drawer - I tried to change for 10 years of therapy and found myself unhappy and suicidal.  Thank God for leading me out of that horror of life and leading me to accept myself as the person God created for me to be and ultimately, leading me to my spouse, Leo, whom I love with all my heart - 41 years. 

The church will change its teachings but not in my lifetime.  In the meantime, I live my life as a gay Catholic man in relationship with Leo and with God.  Even if I am wrong about all of this (which I don't think I am), I believe that God loves me beyond measure and will welcome me into his life.

Mary Margaret Clark (Schultheis)

Joe, I resepect your thoughtful reply. My recent post was a youtube video presentation given by Fr. Mike Schmitz on the Catholic teaching on same-sex attraction. Did you happen to watch it? I would be curious to know how you would respond to the explanations given in the video regarding the sexual union being ordained by God to be between one man and one woman. posessing complimentary natures, whose purpose was both unitive and (not or) procreative. 

I did not intend for a same-sex discussion to be brought out on the Message Forum, my intention was to simply share what I thought was a beautiful homily by our Bishop on the sanctity of all human life. Perhaps I was guilty of introducing a topic on the dignity of human life that some hold as controversial, and apologize if venturing into this subject has made some readers uncomfortable. I am willing to pursue any further discussions on the User Forum.   

Michael McLeod

Wow Joe. That business you wrote about concerning the teachings of the church takes me back. 

I remember going to a talk in the gym where all the boys were gathered to listen to a priest. And he was talking about masturbation. And I did not know the meaning of the word.

Which is not to say that....well, let's just not finish that sentence, he said with a blush.

I do remember that it was conveyed to us that masturbation was a mortal sin. Hell of a thing to tell an adolescent. Weaponizing shame, whether they knew it or not. I did wind up procreating so maybe that gets me off the hook.

Though I worried a bit at first as I like peace in the valley, I'm not sorry this discussion broke out here because a) It's nostalgic, if darkly so and b) it's interesting in terms of the inevitable evolution of the church. 

But once again, Joe: I respect you and your journey. And my own, come to think about it. In some ways we had charming childhoods, at least I think most of us did. I guess every generation looks back and sees that so many things were simpler then. Or seemingly so.

Donna Kelley (Velazquez)

Joe, I add my voice of support to the others and I imagine that there are many more classmates who feel the same way.   When a policy of "Not All Are Welcome" is reinstated nothing good is gained in religion or any part of society. I admire you for your journey and for your fight for a just cause, Joe.