Can I Skip My 100-Year-Old Father&rsquo;s Wedding? He&rsquo;s Making a Big Mistake.

Mike,

Great article, though I confess, I had to take a nap and finish it in two readings. LOL

------------------

Joe G.,

You must be reading my mind.

-------------------

And Where in the hell has Charlie Kaps been all this time?

04/17/26 06:32 PM

#17082

Thanks for all the feedback about that story, folks. And you for your interesting follow up insight, chuck.

Upon re-reading the story I noticed I even got to quote some bigshot from ohio state, who wanted to weigh in on it. Go Bucks!

You know, I was more comfortable writing about the arts, but when I look back on some of my police beat pieces, frankly they've got more going for them than the artsy stuff. Honestly I wish I'd done more cop shop stories.

I really liked getting to know that kid, and tried really hard to put the reader in his shoes. To be accused of something you didn't do - something really terrible - and feel like the whole world is against you - dang. that had to be rough. and he was a sweet kid. And can you imagine how embarrassed that dumbass judge that pronounced him guilty must have felt? Should have felt? Should have freaking apologized!

Hope reading that scary article won't keep you up from your beddie-bye, dave.

04/18/26 04:37 PM

#17083

We All Have Our Safe Places

Just under our entryway window overlooking our back yard is a "safe place" where newborn fawns often await their foraging mothers' return each year in early spring. It is in a corner area of the house which allows some degree of protection from possible predators.

This yearling still seeks safety in that place which she probably remembers from last year when she was a spotted fawn.

Even at our age I think we all have our "safe places".

Jim

04/18/26 08:47 PM

#17084

Jim: ESPECIALLY at our age we all need our safe places! lol

04/18/26 09:48 PM

#17085

Talk about "safe places " - our "Officers club was NOT one of them.

I just found an old photo that I whould have put with a story I shared - or at least I think I shared. And woudl be funnier if you connect the photo with the story

It was a story about 4 of us guys taking my best buddy out to dinner at the officer's club to celebrate his departure the next morning for the end of his tour. We were 4 light drinkers and started ordering bottles of champaigne to mark the occasion. We had all ordered one bottle, not to be outdone, and then two more on top of that - yes, 4 guys - 6 bottles of champaigne.

We left the 'O"-club stinking, slobbering, falling down drunk and headed back down the dirt lane a few hundred yards to our hooches.

But I somehow did not make it all the way inside my hooch to my sleeping cubicle. I awoke the next morning about 5:30 as the sun was peeking over the end of our roof, and as I tried to open my eyes the pain of the sunlight burned my eyeballs.

I never made it across the little walkway that led to our sidewalk and front door. I was laying face-up acrross the drainage ditch with my mid-section at the bottom of the ditch which had about 10 inches of water flowing along its bottom, soaking me from about my chest to my thighs.

AND I had to fly that day. I was coverd in Mosquitos and mosquito bites! And my head was pounding like a sledge hammer. Most excruciating day ever in my cockpit!

That's the story I think I told, but they say a picture is worth a thousand words.

The narrow bridge I missed in center right. My hooch farthest on the left.

(Bringing us home from the flight line.)

See about 8 inches inches of water in the ditch - lower left

04/19/26 09:44 AM

#17086

COULDN'T BEAR IT, I HAD TO SHARE IT!

"Three people in California have been sentenced for insurance fraud in a bizarre scam that involved someone dressed in a bear costume damaging luxury cars.

The California Insurance Department said the three used a person in a bear suit to stage fake attacks inside a Rolls-Royce and two Mercedes in 2024, then submitted fraudulent claims seeking nearly $142,000 in payouts from insurance companies. The department called it “Operation Bear Claw.”

Two Los Angeles-area men and a woman pleaded no contest to felony insurance fraud and were sentenced to a weekend jail program, followed by probation, the department said in a news release Thursday. Two off them were ordered to pay over $50,000 in restitution.

A fourth person faces a court hearing in September.

The group is accused of providing several videos from the San Bernardino Mountains of a bear moving inside the vehicles to the insurance companies as part of their damage claims, the department said. Photos provided by the insurance department show what appeared to be scratches on the seats and doors.

A California Department of Fish and Wildlife biologist reviewed the footage and concluded it was “clearly a human in a bear suit,” the insurance department said.

After executing a search warrant, detectives found the bear costume in the suspects’ home, the department said.

Bears breaking into homes or trash cans in search of food have become a problem in California from Lake Tahoe in the Sierra down to the foothill suburbs of Los Angeles, where some have been known to raid refrigerators and take dips in backyard pools and hot tubs."

04/19/26 09:55 AM

#17087

Dave: those pictures outside the officers club took me back, actually scared me a little, just recalling what it felt like to be in uniform. I don't know about you but to me it felt like living inside a shell. Sometimes I felt cool. Sometimes I felt smothered. All in all my time in the service was not nearly as scary/boring as I thought it would be - and the gi bill payed for the masters degree i got when I my tour of duty was over, paving the way to a journalism career. Being drafted and spending a couple of years in the service, much as I feared it at the time and as much as I hated getting my hippie long hair cut off in basic training, turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to me. (I was never a full-fledged officer like you, but I was E-5 by the time I got out, and I'd had a fairly cushy job as a mailroom clerk at a NATO headquarters near Heidelberg, Germany. I was married and therefore got to live off base with my wife in a basement apartment rented out to me by the german family that lived in a house near the nato base, and I am german on my mother''s side and picked up enough of the language to order shnitzel.

04/19/26 02:43 PM

#17088

Mike,

A small point of order. I was not an "Officer". I was a Warrant Officer. For those unfamilar it put us above all "enlisted men, but below all "Officers". We were paid better than Enlisted but slightly below "Commissioned" Officers. It was a kind of nice world "In between". We saluted Officers and were saluted by Enlisted men. And we had one responsibilty - flying.

* (NOTE: Commissioned officers were also pilots - mostly First Lieutenants, Captains, and Majors, but they could get us through flight training faster, and thus increase the number of "aviators" substantially.

I think Warrant officers were once used for speciaty positions - like supply oficers, or "property book" officers. And they were somewhat rare. But the army found it usefull during Vietnam to create a sort of special designation to fill pilot numbers with some extra rank and training.

Our flight training was in two phases totaling 9 months, as opposed to the other three branches aviation training which, I think, lasted about 18 months.

And this resulted in a HUGE pay increase for us!

While in my first year in country, I was paid about $500+ base pay, plus about $100 flight pay, plus about $100 "hazardous duty" (combat zone) pay. My paychecks were over $700 a month!

I was rich!

-----------------------------------

If I can't qualify for the longest post on this forum, this should at least qualify me for the single most boring post.

04/19/26 03:03 PM

#17089

Thanks Dave. My dad was a warrant officer in the army reserves and as a kid it aways sounded impressive to me, but i never knew exactly what a warrant officer was. It stood to reason that it was either lesser than or better than a regular officer. So apparently my guess was close - as you say it's not so much a matter of better than or lesser-than but kinda in the middle of both..

thanks for the explanation.

Don't remember if we ever talked about it but I lucked out and had a relatively cushy military career, instead of got to 'nam got sent to germany to be a mailroom courier at a nato hq in heidelberg.

04/19/26 08:43 PM

#17090

Deborah Alexander (Rogers)

Officers

OK, as I recall somewhere in my Civilian Career with the Army, our trained Physician Assistants, who were always Warrant Officers, had their rankings changed to that of bona fide Lieutenants.

Jim

04/20/26 11:32 AM

#17091

Happy Birthday, Janie! Hope you have a great one, and many more!

Debbie

04/20/26 11:49 AM

#17092

John Maxwell

Happy Birthday Janie! Hope you are feeling well enough to party all night.
You are sure loved by all of us alums, for all you and Clare have done for us in the past, and you continue to do. As we say at the Village, HIP HIP HUZZAH!! You are dear.

04/20/26 11:51 AM

#17093

John Maxwell

Happy Birthday Janie. Hip Hip Huzzah!! Now go party all night. Woo Hoo! I see you smilin.

04/20/26 01:35 PM

#17094

Yes Janie, Happy Birthday!

And thank you. You certainly have made life a little more enjoyable for those of us on the Forum, especially those of us "out-of-towners".

04/20/26 09:25 PM

#17095

Janie,

Definitely a sincere Happy Birthday wish!

You have brightened our days and kept us together now for many years on this Forum!

Along with others I send my gratitude for your efforts which have allowed us to remember the old days and celebrate, share and commiserate our many decades since those years at BWHS.

As Bob Hope used to sing "Thanks for the memories".

Jim

04/21/26 01:59 PM

#17096

who's this janie person?

jk!

xxxx janie person!!!

you really have been a delightful virtual hostess. the connectedness to old friends and soft-focus memories is a joy, particularly, I bet, to out-of-towners like me.

Looking forward to a visit to Columbus in September. Fall was always my favorite season and they don't have one of those down here in Fla.

04/21/26 03:50 PM

#17097

I'm often tempted to post stories from the news but don't want to be two newshoundy.

Can't resist sharing this, from the ny times.It's from a regular column that takes on ground-level ethical issues, addressing situations that call for honesty and compassion and overall polite behavior and respect for each other. I guess it's good advice, but I would have just said "If she's hot, why not?" Now you know why I never wrote for the New York Times.

Can I Skip My 100-Year-Old Father’s Wedding? He’s Making a Big Mistake.

My 100-year-old father is about to marry a 75-year-old woman who is a three-time widow. He met her in church, and after one month I believe she pressured him to get married. My siblings and I are all against the wedding. I’ve spent more time with our father than my siblings have over the past five months, during their courtship, and I’ve seen firsthand many red flags. For example, my father loves tennis (he played on his 100th birthday), but now, because his girlfriend is jealous of him playing with other women, he’s stopped doing so, and is beginning to show signs of decline. We’ve discussed the potential problems associated with a 25-year age difference, but he doesn’t believe that his girlfriend would do anything to harm him because she is religious.

I can’t attend this wedding in good conscience. My siblings are going, but I’m heartbroken by what I fear this union will do to our father and our family. I don’t see how I can put on a phony smile and hug a three-time black widow as she marries No. 4, my father. Am I wrong? — Name Withheld

From the Ethicist:

You’ve expressed your apprehensions; consider the possibility that your father is less starry-eyed than you suppose. He may simply think that, even if his money is part of the draw, this woman’s companionship during life’s last stretch would be worth it. If you’re worried that his health is declining in his 101st year because he isn’t exercising as much, see if there’s a way that you might be able to help with this. If you and your sibs have concerns about financial exploitation, consult with a lawyer and explore protective measures your father could take.

Sitting out his wedding, however, risks alienating him for whatever time remains to him. So ask yourself why you’re prepared to be the lone holdout. When people are upset that their advice has gone unheeded, there are often two things going on. Yes, they’re worried that someone is making a bad decision, but they also feel hurt that their perspective hasn’t been properly valued. Think about how much you might be affected by that second emotion. Think too about how the desire to protect can sometimes turn into a desire to control.

Whatever doubts you have about your father’s choice, I hope you’ll decide to witness his happiness on the big day. Staying part of his life will make it easier to intervene and to support your father if you later see developments that are unambiguously worrying. In the meantime, you might want to get to know your new stepmother better. Maybe she has her good points, too.

04/22/26 02:25 PM

#17098

Thanks to all for the kind feedback from the folks who took the time to read that lengthy "true crime" article I posted.That may have been the longest article I ever wrote.

Now I think need a transfusion. Nicked up by bougainvllia thorns. Six feet tall bushes with beautful pink blooms in my backyard desperately needed to be cut back because of a rare florida frost..

The bouganvillea bushes will recover and guess will too. Shoulda worn gloves. With a long sleeve shirt.

04/22/26 05:58 PM

#17099

Mike McL.,

Watch out for thorny plants, especially roses. Some thorns are contaminated with a fungus, Sporotricum (now called Sporothrix) schenckii, which can cause an interesting ascending nodular skin infection, sporotrichosis. It more commonly occurs in rose growers and ascinds up the lymph nodes of the arm after a thorn punctures a hand or arm.

As an intern I diagnosed a case at Riverside that was rare enough for me to present at a Grand Rounds. A lady came into the ER with a series of painless lumps forming along her lower arm up to her elbow. My resident called me to see her in the ER because she (the resident) was stumped at such a rash. I examined the patient, looked at the pattern of the nodules and asked her one question: ,"Do you grow roses?" "Why, yes." she replied.

Fungal cultures from the nodules grew out S. schenckii. The patient responded well to antifungal drug therapy.

That was one of those "diagnostic coup moments" that house staff doctors in their training years cherish 😀!

Jim

04/22/26 11:43 PM

#17100

Joseph D. McCarthy

Not being as elegant in my writing as Mike or Dave I ask you to bear with me on this.

Tomorrow, Thursday, will be my Brother-In-Law's (Joe N.) 82nd birthday. My wife and I are driving down, South and a litle West about an hour, to have lunch with Joe and his wife.. Joe orignally move out to the Bay area for his first big job. Joe worked for a number of years as a skater with Shipstad and Johnson's Ice Follies. Afterward he work in management for an insurance company in San Fransisco. Eventually he switched to Financial advisor for a small firm in San Rafael, rom which he eventually retired. Joe's dad, a second generation doctor got him interessted in fishing and hunting which he persued all of his adult life. Joe also stayed with skating by playing in an amateur hockey team. They generally played their games at the Snoopy Arena in Santa Rosa.

A few years ago Joe was diagnosed with Parkinsons disease. In the past few months he was diagnosed with the beginnings of Dementia. His wife, being of poor health herself, as determined that he would be better off in a "nursing" type facility and has been attempting to find a place with an opening. We are waiting.

From what I know, and Jim would know, Parkinsons patients often develop Dementia.

We're hoping for the best.

04/23/26 09:21 AM

#17101

In honor of national poetry month here is my favorite robert frost poem. enjoy. i love it so much i know the whole dang thing by heart. i think it's about living life with hope, positivity -- and faith. love the resonance of the last line. better yet the last word. it's like, pow! frost had such a gift of saying something so profound without sounding preachy,

(ps thanks for the med tip, jim!)

The Onset

Robert Frost

1874 –

1963

Always the same, when on a fated night

At last the gathered snow lets down as white

As may be in dark woods, and with a song

It shall not make again all winter long

Of hissing on the yet uncovered ground,

I almost stumble looking up and round,

As one who overtaken by the end

Gives up his errand, and lets death descend

Upon him where he is, with nothing done

To evil, no important triumph won,

More than if life had never been begun.

Yet all the precedent is on my side:

I know that winter death has never tried

The earth but it has failed: the snow may heap

In long storms an undrifted four feet deep

As measured against maple, birch, and oak,

It cannot check the peeper’s silver croak;

And I shall see the snow all go down hill

In water of a slender April rill

That flashes tail through last year’s withered brake

And dead weeds, like a disappearing snake.

Nothing will be left white but here a birch,

And there a clump of houses with a church.

04/23/26 09:26 AM

#17102

John Jackson

Yikes - Sporotricum schenckii - it even sounds creepy! At our age, we don’t need something else to worry about.

Or is it Sporothrix schenckii? I’m tempted to say a rose fungus by any other name is just as scary.

04/23/26 12:23 PM

#17103