Can I Skip My 100-Year-Old Father&rsquo;s Wedding? He&rsquo;s Making a Big Mistake.

Dave: those pictures outside the officers club took me back, actually scared me a little, just recalling what it felt like to be in uniform. I don't know about you but to me it felt like living inside a shell. Sometimes I felt cool. Sometimes I felt smothered. All in all my time in the service was not nearly as scary/boring as I thought it would be - and the gi bill payed for the masters degree i got when I my tour of duty was over, paving the way to a journalism career. Being drafted and spending a couple of years in the service, much as I feared it at the time and as much as I hated getting my hippie long hair cut off in basic training, turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to me. (I was never a full-fledged officer like you, but I was E-5 by the time I got out, and I'd had a fairly cushy job as a mailroom clerk at a NATO headquarters near Heidelberg, Germany. I was married and therefore got to live off base with my wife in a basement apartment rented out to me by the german family that lived in a house near the nato base, and I am german on my mother''s side and picked up enough of the language to order shnitzel.

04/19/26 02:43 PM

#17088

Mike,

A small point of order. I was not an "Officer". I was a Warrant Officer. For those unfamilar it put us above all "enlisted men, but below all "Officers". We were paid better than Enlisted but slightly below "Commissioned" Officers. It was a kind of nice world "In between". We saluted Officers and were saluted by Enlisted men. And we had one responsibilty - flying.

* (NOTE: Commissioned officers were also pilots - mostly First Lieutenants, Captains, and Majors, but they could get us through flight training faster, and thus increase the number of "aviators" substantially.

I think Warrant officers were once used for speciaty positions - like supply oficers, or "property book" officers. And they were somewhat rare. But the army found it usefull during Vietnam to create a sort of special designation to fill pilot numbers with some extra rank and training.

Our flight training was in two phases totaling 9 months, as opposed to the other three branches aviation training which, I think, lasted about 18 months.

And this resulted in a HUGE pay increase for us!

While in my first year in country, I was paid about $500+ base pay, plus about $100 flight pay, plus about $100 "hazardous duty" (combat zone) pay. My paychecks were over $700 a month!

I was rich!

-----------------------------------

If I can't qualify for the longest post on this forum, this should at least qualify me for the single most boring post.

04/19/26 03:03 PM

#17089

Thanks Dave. My dad was a warrant officer in the army reserves and as a kid it aways sounded impressive to me, but i never knew exactly what a warrant officer was. It stood to reason that it was either lesser than or better than a regular officer. So apparently my guess was close - as you say it's not so much a matter of better than or lesser-than but kinda in the middle of both..

thanks for the explanation.

Don't remember if we ever talked about it but I lucked out and had a relatively cushy military career, instead of got to 'nam got sent to germany to be a mailroom courier at a nato hq in heidelberg.

04/19/26 08:43 PM

#17090

Deborah Alexander (Rogers)

Officers

OK, as I recall somewhere in my Civilian Career with the Army, our trained Physician Assistants, who were always Warrant Officers, had their rankings changed to that of bona fide Lieutenants.

Jim

04/20/26 11:32 AM

#17091

Happy Birthday, Janie! Hope you have a great one, and many more!

Debbie

04/20/26 11:49 AM

#17092

John Maxwell

Happy Birthday Janie! Hope you are feeling well enough to party all night.
You are sure loved by all of us alums, for all you and Clare have done for us in the past, and you continue to do. As we say at the Village, HIP HIP HUZZAH!! You are dear.

04/20/26 11:51 AM

#17093

John Maxwell

Happy Birthday Janie. Hip Hip Huzzah!! Now go party all night. Woo Hoo! I see you smilin.

04/20/26 01:35 PM

#17094

Yes Janie, Happy Birthday!

And thank you. You certainly have made life a little more enjoyable for those of us on the Forum, especially those of us "out-of-towners".

04/20/26 09:25 PM

#17095

Janie,

Definitely a sincere Happy Birthday wish!

You have brightened our days and kept us together now for many years on this Forum!

Along with others I send my gratitude for your efforts which have allowed us to remember the old days and celebrate, share and commiserate our many decades since those years at BWHS.

As Bob Hope used to sing "Thanks for the memories".

Jim

04/21/26 01:59 PM

#17096

who's this janie person?

jk!

xxxx janie person!!!

you really have been a delightful virtual hostess. the connectedness to old friends and soft-focus memories is a joy, particularly, I bet, to out-of-towners like me.

Looking forward to a visit to Columbus in September. Fall was always my favorite season and they don't have one of those down here in Fla.

04/21/26 03:50 PM

#17097

I'm often tempted to post stories from the news but don't want to be two newshoundy.

Can't resist sharing this, from the ny times.It's from a regular column that takes on ground-level ethical issues, addressing situations that call for honesty and compassion and overall polite behavior and respect for each other. I guess it's good advice, but I would have just said "If she's hot, why not?" Now you know why I never wrote for the New York Times.

Can I Skip My 100-Year-Old Father’s Wedding? He’s Making a Big Mistake.

My 100-year-old father is about to marry a 75-year-old woman who is a three-time widow. He met her in church, and after one month I believe she pressured him to get married. My siblings and I are all against the wedding. I’ve spent more time with our father than my siblings have over the past five months, during their courtship, and I’ve seen firsthand many red flags. For example, my father loves tennis (he played on his 100th birthday), but now, because his girlfriend is jealous of him playing with other women, he’s stopped doing so, and is beginning to show signs of decline. We’ve discussed the potential problems associated with a 25-year age difference, but he doesn’t believe that his girlfriend would do anything to harm him because she is religious.

I can’t attend this wedding in good conscience. My siblings are going, but I’m heartbroken by what I fear this union will do to our father and our family. I don’t see how I can put on a phony smile and hug a three-time black widow as she marries No. 4, my father. Am I wrong? — Name Withheld

From the Ethicist:

You’ve expressed your apprehensions; consider the possibility that your father is less starry-eyed than you suppose. He may simply think that, even if his money is part of the draw, this woman’s companionship during life’s last stretch would be worth it. If you’re worried that his health is declining in his 101st year because he isn’t exercising as much, see if there’s a way that you might be able to help with this. If you and your sibs have concerns about financial exploitation, consult with a lawyer and explore protective measures your father could take.

Sitting out his wedding, however, risks alienating him for whatever time remains to him. So ask yourself why you’re prepared to be the lone holdout. When people are upset that their advice has gone unheeded, there are often two things going on. Yes, they’re worried that someone is making a bad decision, but they also feel hurt that their perspective hasn’t been properly valued. Think about how much you might be affected by that second emotion. Think too about how the desire to protect can sometimes turn into a desire to control.

Whatever doubts you have about your father’s choice, I hope you’ll decide to witness his happiness on the big day. Staying part of his life will make it easier to intervene and to support your father if you later see developments that are unambiguously worrying. In the meantime, you might want to get to know your new stepmother better. Maybe she has her good points, too.

04/22/26 02:25 PM

#17098

Thanks to all for the kind feedback from the folks who took the time to read that lengthy "true crime" article I posted.That may have been the longest article I ever wrote.

Now I think need a transfusion. Nicked up by bougainvllia thorns. Six feet tall bushes with beautful pink blooms in my backyard desperately needed to be cut back because of a rare florida frost..

The bouganvillea bushes will recover and guess will too. Shoulda worn gloves. With a long sleeve shirt.

04/22/26 05:58 PM

#17099

Mike McL.,

Watch out for thorny plants, especially roses. Some thorns are contaminated with a fungus, Sporotricum (now called Sporothrix) schenckii, which can cause an interesting ascending nodular skin infection, sporotrichosis. It more commonly occurs in rose growers and ascinds up the lymph nodes of the arm after a thorn punctures a hand or arm.

As an intern I diagnosed a case at Riverside that was rare enough for me to present at a Grand Rounds. A lady came into the ER with a series of painless lumps forming along her lower arm up to her elbow. My resident called me to see her in the ER because she (the resident) was stumped at such a rash. I examined the patient, looked at the pattern of the nodules and asked her one question: ,"Do you grow roses?" "Why, yes." she replied.

Fungal cultures from the nodules grew out S. schenckii. The patient responded well to antifungal drug therapy.

That was one of those "diagnostic coup moments" that house staff doctors in their training years cherish 😀!

Jim

04/22/26 11:43 PM

#17100

Joseph D. McCarthy

Not being as elegant in my writing as Mike or Dave I ask you to bear with me on this.

Tomorrow, Thursday, will be my Brother-In-Law's (Joe N.) 82nd birthday. My wife and I are driving down, South and a litle West about an hour, to have lunch with Joe and his wife.. Joe orignally move out to the Bay area for his first big job. Joe worked for a number of years as a skater with Shipstad and Johnson's Ice Follies. Afterward he work in management for an insurance company in San Fransisco. Eventually he switched to Financial advisor for a small firm in San Rafael, rom which he eventually retired. Joe's dad, a second generation doctor got him interessted in fishing and hunting which he persued all of his adult life. Joe also stayed with skating by playing in an amateur hockey team. They generally played their games at the Snoopy Arena in Santa Rosa.

A few years ago Joe was diagnosed with Parkinsons disease. In the past few months he was diagnosed with the beginnings of Dementia. His wife, being of poor health herself, as determined that he would be better off in a "nursing" type facility and has been attempting to find a place with an opening. We are waiting.

From what I know, and Jim would know, Parkinsons patients often develop Dementia.

We're hoping for the best.

04/23/26 09:21 AM

#17101

In honor of national poetry month here is my favorite robert frost poem. enjoy. i love it so much i know the whole dang thing by heart. i think it's about living life with hope, positivity -- and faith. I love the resonance of the last line. Better yet the last word, tying it all up in a simple, splendid knot.

Frost had such a gift of saying something so profound without sounding preachy,

(ps thanks for the med tip, jim!)

The Onset

Robert Frost

1874 –

1963

Always the same, when on a fated night

At last the gathered snow lets down as white

As may be in dark woods, and with a song

It shall not make again all winter long

Of hissing on the yet uncovered ground,

I almost stumble looking up and round,

As one who overtaken by the end

Gives up his errand, and lets death descend

Upon him where he is, with nothing done

To evil, no important triumph won,

More than if life had never been begun.

Yet all the precedent is on my side:

I know that winter death has never tried

The earth but it has failed: the snow may heap

In long storms an undrifted four feet deep

As measured against maple, birch, and oak,

It cannot check the peeper’s silver croak;

And I shall see the snow all go down hill

In water of a slender April rill

That flashes tail through last year’s withered brake

And dead weeds, like a disappearing snake.

Nothing will be left white but here a birch,

And there a clump of houses with a church.

04/23/26 09:26 AM

#17102

John Jackson

Yikes - Sporotricum schenckii - it even sounds creepy! At our age, we don’t need something else to worry about.

Or is it Sporothrix schenckii? I’m tempted to say a rose fungus by any other name is just as scary.

04/23/26 12:23 PM

#17103

John J.

Yes, fungi can be really bad actors especially if they get in the bloodstream (fungicemia) or the brain (fungal meniningitis and others). Such things are always a consideration in immunosuppressed and/or cancer patients who present with fevers, sepsis, etc.

Unlike the Beatles, we may all not live in a "Yellow Submarine" but we do all exist and co-exist in a microbial 🦠 world 🤔.

Jim

04/23/26 04:48 PM

#17104

John Jackson

I usually avoid posting Onion articles because many are in very poor taste, but this one is too good to pass up.

Study Finds Gen Z Drinking Fewer Flagons Of Mead Than Medieval Generations

ST. LOUIS—Revealing a drastic decline in regular honey-wine consumption among youths, a new study published by researchers at Saint Louis University found that Generation Z drinks far fewer flagons of mead than medieval generations did. “We observed that, as opposed to their predecessors, young adults today seldom venture out to their local mead hall and socialize with tavern wenches,” said lead researcher Michael Kempe, noting that the study’s conclusions also align with a recent downswing in attendance at jousting matches. “Over the years there has been, for some reason, a noticeable reduction in quaffing a goat’s horn overflowing with mead after vanquishing a beast. Perhaps with marijuana use and vaping on the rise, it’s natural to see the market for crude, sickly sweet fermented beverages shrink. In addition, Gen Z seems to be more frugal when it comes to indulgences like tossing a coin to a lyre player to regale one’s fellow bannermen with a jaunty ballad.” Kempe added that due to the increased dominance of the internet, there was also a steady downtick in youths passing down long poems through oral tradition.

04/24/26 12:18 PM

#17105

Does anybody else remember getting lots of lectures about how many english language words have latin roots? Or do i only remember that because it was drilled into me by my devout mother, who was an english major and a well educated doctor's daughter who grew up next to the old Holy Rosary church on main street and was on the way to becoming a nun, a "bride of Christ " as they used to say, before she fell in love with my dad?

Jim: thanks for the advice and that's a great insider med yarn. You obviously, um, rose to the occasion.

04/24/26 01:01 PM

#17106

Joseph D. McCarthy

It may be because my thoughts were elsewhere and I don't have access to the many news outlets that Mr. Mike has, but this morning I learned that once again "Millions of Americans (USA)may now be considered Canadian under a new (somewhat) law.

A recent change to Canada's requirements that took affect December 15th allows ANYONE born before that date who could prove they have a direct Canadian ancestor - a grandparent, great-grandparent or even more distant ancestor cna become a dual citizen. Those born on or after December 15 need to show that their Canadian parent lived in Canada for 1,095 days.

So once again my Nieces and Nephews are Dual citizens, just need to provide paperwork..

04/24/26 05:29 PM

#17107

John,

As for this recent downswing in attendance at jousting matches.

I just hate when that hppens!

04/25/26 08:20 AM

#17108

For the benefit of anybody who doesn't already know it by heart,eh?

I'm looking at you, Joe.

Dave: I just hate it when that happens.

Lyrics

O Canada!

Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all of us command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

04/25/26 06:30 PM

#17109

John Jackson

Oh Canada! Just got back from a short trip to Montreal for a concert by a wonderful band that plays what can best be described as French Canadian folk music. It’s hard to describe but it has a lot of Irish/Scottish fiddling, combined with lusty singing that sounds like songs lumberjacks would sing. The group had two fiddlers, a guitarist, an accordionist and a guy that plays the hurdy gurdy. Best hurdy gurdy playing I’ve heard in many a moon (since I’ve only heard hurdy gurdy once before at a Loreena McKennitt concert).

The other hallmark of this type of music is that one of the band members (while seated) taps his feet in complex rhythmic patterns to provide percussion. The clip below is a good one with a two minute stretch at the end that rivals the best Irish fiddling but there is no hurdy gurdy:

We were a bit apprehensive about how Americans would be received as citizens of a rogue nation whose President has gone out of his way to insult and belittle our oldest and best friends. But everywhere we went we experienced only warmth and friendliness.

04/26/26 12:07 PM

#17110

John: I met enough canadian soldiers when I was stationed at a NATO hq near heidelberg germany to relate to your experience way up north. Pleasant, aren't they? Swear to God it just made me and the krauts in our unit happy to be around them. The US should have an exchange program with canada. If you had a bratty little brother you could swap him out to a canadian family, let them send you one of theirs while they tolerantly file the rough edges off your little snotnosed brat for you. I promise you he'll come back with a permanent pleasant expression on his face, walking around saying: "how's it going, eh?"

I am joking around but in all seriousness I bonded with canadians when I was in the service easier than I bonded with anybody else. I knew a little german and so I drank with the krauts, my lord the beer is indeed great over there,. I'm sure there are plenty of butthole canadians but in my experience they were few and far between.

04/26/26 05:07 PM

#17111