Sorry about the length of this post and the format. I saw this shared on Facebook today and had to do a copy and paste. It seemed to be a relevant topic.
OPINION: Talk Politics
An analysis by JEFF SNOOK
July 19, 2021
I have been wanting to write this column for about 10 years or so, but I always put it off for fear of alienating friends and readers, for fear of being verbally assaulted for broaching a subject many of us detest. So, let me start by asking a question:
Have you ever headed out to dinner among friends, to a party, to a family get-together, or to a gathering of any sort, when someone, perhaps your spouse, makes a simple demand: “Now, don’t talk politics!”
Let’s face it, it’s not that you haven’t heard it before. We all have. The question is, how many times have you heard it?
I have heard that line hundreds of times over the years. And I usually responded with one word, “Why?”
That demand, and unwritten rule of society, is just ingrained in most of us. As the saying goes, “don’t talk politics, religion or abortion” – at least don’t do it if you want to keep the peace and harmony among friends and family. We don’t want to debate any longer, we don’t want to argue, and we don’t want to hurt others’ feelings and often we certainly don’t want to hear an opinion that differs from ours.
Let’s face it: Discussing politics can be stressful. But why should that be?
Why has the P-word replaced the F-word as the dirtiest word in America’s lexicon?
According to the Pew Research Center, 83 percent of Americans are “very uncomfortable” when talking about politics. (I will always applaud the brave 17 percent).
It really seems now as if we can appropriately discuss our sex lives, our bathroom habits, the size, or lack thereof, of our bank accounts, the rumors and gossip we hear long before we ever discuss politics in public. That is, unless we are surrounded by like-minded people. It is only then we can all nod in agreement and slap high-fives and poke fun at the other side.
But I contend right here and right now that we have had it all wrong all along.
Discussing our foreign policy, our economy, our immigration laws, our taxes, our health-care system, our first and second amendments, and generally, the government’s role in our lives, and even the symbolism and meaning of our U.S. flag, isn’t just talking politics to me.
These are all issues that affect our daily lives, our existence and our pursuit of happiness.
Did you notice the word I used the most in those last two sentences?
OUR existence. OUR lives. OUR happiness.
So, if these issues are so damn crucial, and they are ours, we should be able to discuss, debate and dissect them without screaming, shouting, and name-calling.
Twenty-one years ago, soon after the USS Cole was bombed in Yemen, resulting in the loss of 17 American servicemen, I was having dinner one night with a longtime friend in Miami. He bluntly stated, “Why do we even have a Navy ship over there to begin with? We should be an isolationist country and stick to our own business. We never should get involved in any wars and we shouldn’t be sticking our noses in what happens in Europe, the Far East, the Mideast, or anywhere else for that matter … “
My friend was very educated, had a college degree, lived in a million-dollar condo on the beach and earned more than $300,000 annually.
"I understand what you are saying, but what if we took that approach throughout our history?” I asked him. “History teaches us lessons. What if we never got involved in World War I or World War II? What if we had ignored the Japanese after they bombed Pearl Harbor? What if we had stayed out of Europe?
“Like it or not, we have evolved into the world’s watchdog of sorts, because we are about the only country which has the ability to keep the dictators and the bullies of the world in check. To answer my own question, without our involvement, the Nazi Empire likely would rule over every European country as we speak, with statues of Hitler everywhere -- and you really have to wonder if the entire Jewish population would have eventually been exterminated.”
My friend, a democrat and Jewish, paused, digested my words and then admitted, “Yeah, I guess I never thought of it that way.”
He paused again, before asking, “Who’s the favorite to win the national title this season?”
Our political discussion was quickly intercepted by college football, a mainstream topic most of my friends enjoy discussing.
Which reminds me of another analogy. I have three or four good friends who root for the school up north. That’s right, the M-word. We get along great. We laugh together, dine together and talk about college football together, so why in the world can’t we translate that spirit of friendship and civility to our differences elsewhere? I know I would never change them to become Ohio State fans, nor would I ever try. And that’s the point.
However, we do have the ability to listen, understand and enjoy each other even if we root for different teams.
If you really think about it, are sports, our favorite foods or wines, music, movies, TV shows and the weather more important to us in the grand scheme of things?
And if they are, and that’s why we talk about them and them only, then we may live very superficial lives. Yet, we continue walking – and talking – on proverbial eggshells just so we don’t start arguments or cause hard feelings.
Well, I call this the “Obama-Trump Effect.”
If you think back to the Clinton presidency, and even the George W. Bush presidency – a culmination of 16 years from 1993-2008 – things were never this bad. America seemed way more united, especially in the wake of Sept. 11, 2001.
But the following 12 years have changed all that.
Obama’s eight years and Trump’s four brought out the fangs and to be blunt, the pure hatred, of the party and followers not holding the Oval Office. It’s been “Us versus Them” ever since.
And it’s grown only worse since January.
To be honest, there is no denying that policies have shifted and headed to the fringe, further escalating the divide. Whoever would have thought on 9-11-01, and the days that followed, that a portion of this country, and even some in the media, could actually label the patriotic act of flying the U.S. flag as racist, only 20 years later?
I think this sad state of life could all be fixed, or at least improved.
Let’s start with the P-word itself. I would claim that we have mislabeled it all along. Why do we call these issues, which are so crucial to us, “politics” in the first place? Maybe we should just re-label these topics as “daily life topics?” Or better yet, why don’t we eliminate any labels altogether? Let’s not throw umbrella terminology over these issues.
In this country, we have way too many labels as it is: gay, straight, white, black, liberal, conservative, democrat, republican …. I could go on and on. Now we even give acronyms that define people. It’s as if our bodies should be adorned with one of those grocery-store scans you see on every product you buy. Scan me. What does my label tell you?
We should be able to return to what America was like in the 1940s or ‘50s, to a time when we could discuss, reasonably and calmly, OUR daily life topics. Following World War II, our so-called political strife and division were nothing like they are today. At cocktail parties, adults paused to listen to the so-called opinion of others. Voting for one candidate or the other didn’t automatically make you a pariah among your peers.
I often believe it’s a shame we have an aisle in Congress to begin with, which has become a metaphor of division in the country. You think the Grand Canyon is the largest gap in America? Nope, it’s that proverbial aisle separating the Ds from the Rs. Maybe we should just abolish the multiple-party system altogether, but that’s another subject for another time. These days, it is all about red vs. blue. Do you live in a red state or a blue state?
I long for the days of red, white and blue. But even saying that has somehow digressed into a political statement.
But that is where we are today.
And that is sad.
We don’t have to be persuaded to change our minds, we just have to change our ability to listen.
We have to try to understand those who disagree with us – and demand calmly that they give us the same respect. To those with other viewpoints, backgrounds or upbringings, no matter how unreasonable we deem them, we must listen.
Because listening is the first step to understanding.
While at dinner among friends, we should be able to say, “Now Joe, your parents arrived at Ellis Island in the 1950s, right? So, what do you think about our immigration laws today?” And we should be able to listen to Joe’s answer without the veins on our necks bulging while we prepare our retort.
The real problem we face today is not Joe’s answer, it’s the fact he may choose not to answer altogether, even if he has some valuable perspective to offer. Like everyone else, he has labeled these subjects as taboo, and Joe may even be offended if someone asked such a harmless question.
I say, since we are living in the midst of the so-called cancel culture, it’s high time we cancel that taboo of discussing these crucial issues in our lives. Then the next move is to cancel the cancel culture itself. Free speech should always be a two-way street.
There has been historical debate whether it was Voltaire or British author Evelyn Beatrice Hall who said, “I may not agree with what you have to say, but I will defend with my life your right to say it.”
Whoever it was would laugh at us in 2021.
I have lost a few friends in the past five or six years after making a post on Facebook which they deemed offensive. Some even texted me nasty, irrational remarks that dipped into name-calling all because they disagreed with my post either supporting or criticizing a certain U.S. policy. Furthermore, some even disagreed with my right to state my opinion in the first place. But if you believe Facebook and social media exists only for posting recipes, pictures of puppies and wishing others happy birthday, then you are missing the point altogether.
My friends became heated, angry and righteously claimed they were offended over my posts. And in the end, they became former friends – all because their opinion differed.
But here’s the bottom line: I didn’t leave them. They left me.
I didn’t want the friendships to end. I have Michigan friends. I have liberal friends. The way I look at it, the more the merrier. After all, must we surround ourselves, and our way of thinking, with only people who think the same way?
Listening to the other point of view should only heighten our awareness and curiosity.
I would contend that if we cannot discuss these crucial issues, to listen or read others’ opinions, we can grow complacent and even enter a realm of unrelenting stubbornness, an inability to reason, understand and solve problems in more than one way.
We have lost our ability to be civil to each other, and that does go for both sides of that aisle.
Because if you really think about it, if we the people cannot calmly and reasonably discuss our current daily issues together like Critical Race Theory, masks vs. no masks, Coke vs. Pepsi, Ford vs. Chevy, the vaccinated vs. the unvaccinated, voter ID laws, the economy, and so on and so on, then how in the world can we demand our elected officials such as Jim Jordan and Chuck Schumer to sit down together on our behalf and do the same?
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Jeff Snook is a guest columnist for The Ohio Press Network. Snook, a 1982 Ohio State graduate, has written 14 non-fiction books, including 12 on college football. He resides in Atlantis, Florida, and Mifflin, Ohio.
