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James Hamilton, M. D.
Dave,
Somehow I thought you might connect me to Bambi!
You mentioned Cool Hand Luke, a true classic. There seemed to be a lot of Southern prison movies and escape from prison movies in the 60's and 70's with actors like Burt Reynolds, Clint Eastwood and even Dustin Hoffman. Thinking of those brought to mind another one of my Appalachian stories. It was certainly not as dramatic but it was about a prisoner and it was set in Appalachia. So I won't give it a catchy title like The Longest Yard or Escape from Alcatraz. I'll just call it:
The Cerumen Caper.
Being the county seat, Pomeroy, Ohio was the home of the Meigs County Jail. It was not unusual for Doc Pickens to make "cell" calls when inmates had medical issues that needed attention. One March morning I went with Doc to the jail to check out a patient with difficulty hearing and some discomfort in his ear. There was only a single cell with several men occuping it. Doc asked for the man with the ear problem to step forward. One of them walked over and pressed his affected ear between the bars. An examination easily revealed that he had a cerumen impaction - a hardened, dried out wad of wax totally occluding his ear canal. Not having softening solution or a cerumen spoon available, Doc told the deputy to transport the man to his office later that day.
About mid-afternoon an officer and the prisoner arrived and the patient was escorted to an exam room while the deputy had a seat in the waiting room. It took a fair amount of time and digging but finally the impaction was able to be removed.
When we took the inmate back to the waiting area the deputy had departed, apparently on another call. He had left word with Doc's clerk that we should take the man back to the jail. (Remember, this is small town America - where is Barney Fife when you need him?!!) Since the office was full of patients, Doc gave me the keys to his Cadillac and tasked me with that mission.
Oh, did I mention that the inmate was not handcuffed?
We got inside the car and I drove out of the parking lot. At that point I realized that I did not know how to get to the jail. I looked at the man and said "Uh...which way is the jail?" "Go up to the next block and turn left", he replied.
By now a number of thoughts were going through my head and all of them were bad. "Is he going to lead me to some out-of-the-way place, jump out of the car and escape? Or maybe attack me and steal the Caddy? Or even try to kill me? I don't even know what crime he committed to land him in jail! Should I dare ask him? Is he going to take me to some destination where he has a gang of thugs waiting to spring him?"
He continued to direct me - "Straight here ... turn right up there..." etc., etc.
To my surprise and delight we did arrive at the jail. I walked him up to the main window inside the building and stated that I was returning the patient - er, I mean prisoner - as instructed.
He thanked me for the care we had given him. I breathed a sigh of relief and returned to the office. This time I remembered the way.
As I said, small town.
Jim
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