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Frank Ganley

Joe to my knowledge there is no name for a flock of geese to go thru, if walking beware they'are mean and bite. Now goose poop is another story. The rule say you must pick up anything up with your hand. Constantine Rocco had goose poop in his line on a green . He went to pick it up with a tee but the referee stopped and informed of the rule, he then tiold the official he could pick it up then. New rule

David Mitchell

Mike,

At the risk making you jealous of me again, I think I once dated a "denisovan". She was a bit rough around the edges but she really liked to party. I think what finally caused us to break up was her propensity for snorting out loud.

Michael McLeod

Shoulda stuck with Catholic girls Dave.

Michael McLeod

And speaking of Catholicism: This made me laugh. It's from the New Yorker. It reminds me of a time when, as a child, I thought of protestants as bad people. I can't remember what we were told about them - I just remember it was a significant divide. Plus my dad, who was a Methodist, had to convert to Catholicism before my mother would marry him. And clearly Martin Luther was an excommunicated heretic and as such was burning in the fires of hell. I don't know about the hell part but he certainly did have a point about the hypocricy of the Catholic Church of his day -- though he turned a bit wackadoodle himself near the end of his life and said some fairly horrific things about Jews. 

Be that as it may, this is funny:

Martin Luther’s Ninety-five Theses, as E-mailed by Your Passive-Aggressive Co-Worker

By Patrick Crooks

FROM: Martin.Luther@vatican.org
TO: All Vatican Staff
Subject: A Quick Note

Not to be that guy, and most of this is totally not a big deal, but I just wanted to take a moment to communicate my disappointment with a few things I’ve noticed occurring at the Church lately. Unless everyone feels differently, I think there may be some stuff we could look into changing around here to make this space a bit better for everyone involved. Again, these are just a couple of thoughts I had, so no pressure at all.

Yours in Christ,

Marty

FROM: Martin.Luther@vatican.org
TO: All Vatican Staff
Subject: Plenary Indulgences

So the whole plenary-indulgence thing is something I’ve been meaning to bring up for a while, and if no one else has an issue with this, I’ll shut up about it, but is this really something we should be doing? Lord knows I’m not perfect, but doesn’t it sort of defeat the purpose of the whole forgiveness-of-sins deal? I mean, I’m no expert on the subject, but I thought the Scripture was pretty clear on this. Can someone back me up here?

Seriously, I don’t mean to be a dick about this, but we might look into changing our policy. I understand wanting to get the new St. Peter’s built, but have we considered having a bake sale? It concerns me that we’re maybe not serving the public by letting the wealthy buy their way into Heaven, but I don’t know.

Best,

Martin

FROM: Martin.Luther@vatican.org
TO: All Vatican Staff
Subject: Re: Plenary Indulgences

While I’m on the subject, maybe we should go over the whole forgiveness-of-sins thing? Last I checked, Jesus hasn’t returned, so I think that falls on us. I mean, God forbid we actually do our jobs, right? LOL JK.

But returning to the subject, repentance shouldn’t be an easy, empty apology. If that were the case, they’d let any schmuck into Heaven, and we’d all be out of work.

Thanks,

Martin

FROM: Martin.Luther@vatican.org
TO: All Vatican Staff
Subject: Good Works

Good works are nice and all, but maybe we’re a little too focussed on them? If I were to, say, kill a bunch of people and then give a few coins to the Church and clean up the mess, I’m sure it would be appreciated, but it doesn’t really change the fact that I killed a bunch of people.

While I’ve got you, we also need to talk about the whole charity thing. I’m looking it over, and it seems like no one is particularly concerned that the aristocracy isn’t giving to the poor. I mean, do we want the masses to view us as a corrupt institution interested solely in consolidating wealth and political power? If that’s what we’re about, let me know, but I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to be in the business of saving souls and helping the poor.

I’m not saying there’s going to be a schism or anything, but I’m not not saying that, either.

Regards,

Martin Luther

FROM: Martin.Luther@vatican.org
TO: All Vatican Staff
Subject: Following Up

Just circling back to suggest that you maybe take a few minutes to ask yourself if you’re a part of the problem? If the answer’s yes, let’s work together to make this a less corrupt Church. I just want us to want to be better, is all.

Sorry if I’m the asshole here.

Martin Luther

David Mitchell

Mike,

Although this is not corraborated by any oyster shells, I believe there is also a letter fom Luther to Archbishop Albrecht of Mainz (and copied to Johann Tetzler) questioning the whole "selling of indulgence thing".  

"Jeeez 'Brechtie', what on earth are you guys trying to do to thes people? Your'e scarring the livin' Purgatory out of them!  Couldn't we try selling lottery tickets, or at least wait until they invent Bingo?" 

Michael McLeod

Yeah Dave that would certainly be in character. But the one he tacked up on the church door in Wittenberg -- apparently 16th century Germans were already hip to publicity stunts - is the one that got him in hot water with da pope. And da pope, back in da day, was equivalent to Tony Soprano.

Joseph D. McCarthy

In case there is someone who has never seen my world ( two doors East, two doors West, and across the street) famous (or is that infamous I can never tell) Thanksgiving Stuffing Recipe here it is.

                                        POP CORN STUFFING RECIPE       

            3 Cups          Bread Crumbs

            1 Pkg.           Onion Soup

            2 Cups          Un-Popped Pop Cprn

            1  Tsp.           Salt

            1/4  Tsp.        Pepper

            Two               Eggs (without the shells)

            1  Cup           Celery (Chopped)

            1 Cup            Milk (To Moisten)

Mix well.  Place stuffing in turkey cavity and pack tightly.

Bake at 350 degrees temperature for one (1) hour.

Then run like hell, because the stuffing is going to blow the #@$ off that bird.

Now if you decide not to utilize my famous (infamous) recipe, at least share it with friends so they can have a little laugh this holiday.

Joe

David Mitchell

Joe.,

Sounds like your holiday diiner is gonna be a real "blast" !

David Mitchell

In the last few days, authorities from Franklin County, (that's in the state of Ooooo Hiii Oooooh), have contacted authorities in here Beaufort County, SC about a possible link between a recent case of missing Oysters here in Bluffton, and a nearly 60 year-old dead file at Franklin County Sherriff's office. 

Although neither office has made any details avaible to the public, rumors have it that the Beaufort County oyster shell code breakers (trained in a code known locally as the "Crustacean Code") may have stumbled onto additional information about the so-called "OLP Boiz" and their past criminal activity as it relates to their terrorist history of vandalism and damage to public property.  

It seems that a resident of a home on Dominion Blvd. (a residential street in a northern neighborhood of  Columbus, Oooohhh Hiii Ohhh) - witnessed criminal and destructive activities at a school across from their home many years ago, but has only recently come forward to report it. It should be noted that the original "headquarters" of this same group known as the "OLP Boiz" was located a short distnace down the same street - furthering the notion that the accused individuals were arffiliated with the afore mentioned group.  

But, as luck would have it, one little old lady on a break from shucking oysters at the Bluffton Oyster company dock obained a copy of the indictment, but would not admit where she got it. "I ain'ta gonna tell nobody what dat Mr. Dave paid me for dis heah info-mation - No suh!" 

According to the memo; on one sunny, summer 1959 afternoon (after another one of those infamous "Schreyer Place sleep-overs") two young men (approximately 5th graders, and both card-carrying members of the "OLP Boiz") walked from the famous "House of Litzinger", around the block, to the nearby playground of a place known locally as "Dominion Jr. High" (which may, or may not be connected with "Dominion" voting machines used in Georgia elections) - where a dirt and grass area known as a "diamond" sprawled out from the street, all the way back to the school building itself. 

So as the suspect identified as Mitchell was standing near what experts refer to as "home plate", the suspect known as Litzinger stood in the so-called "outfiield", waiting for Mitchell to hit him some "high flys". Mitchell apparently hit one deep, over Litzinger's head, and as Litzinger turned to run after it, the ball hit on the concrete sidewalk that runs closely around the perimiter of the school building and took a very high bounce up against a glass classroom window on the second story - just hard enough to break the window glass, and yet bounce back onto the field.   

According to the witness, Litzinger grabbed the ball, and the two young vandals ran like bats out of hell all the way back to their refuge at the Litzinger House.

(Lungs heaving as they gasped for air, and looking at one another with terified looks on their faces - as well they should!)

Now here is the serious part of the indictment. It is charged that that the two collaberated in a cover-up for the rest of their lives, never admitting their crime and never telling anyone (I mean, anyone) -  fearful at first that they would be punished, and then as the years passed, confident that no one would ever believe such a cockamamie story any way. 

(but there my have been one other party who did know something - "Father forgive me, for I have sinned.") 

David Mitchell

Dr. Jim,

Can you help please me?  I am suffering from a severe case of "Bronco-mania", and cannot seem to shake it. The symptoms have come and gone over the years but have flaired up again like, well,,,almost  like a virus.

I contracted it many years ago while sitting in my dorm room at the U. of Denver and listening to the legendary Bob Martin, calling the games on KOA radio.  

There have been perods of relief - periods of Floyd Little, of Randy Gradishar, of John Elway, and up until recently, periods of Von Miller. But lately I am suffering from too many Drew Lock interceptions andI don't know if I can make it through the rest of the season.   

A local quack suggested I take two halves of Ohio State Buckeye football and call him back in the morning. It only helped for a few hours. 

------------------

Or maybe I should take matters in my (your) own hands. If I pay for your gas, will you agree to drive up I-25 to Bronco headquarters and kick some ass ?

David Barbour

https://youtu.be/MRa_gC6y4CY

There it is, I think.  Funny if it works.

DB

Michael McLeod

This restores my faith in truth, justice, and the American way. 

Michael McLeod

Love it when my home town gets national recognition.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqVrpFXXdB0

Janie Albright (Blank)

Mark, I absolutely loved your beautiful tribute to your mom! She is smiling in Heaven for sure. Seven children and didn't drive.  My dad traveled as well and for many years no second car. My brother and I made frequent trips to Dawson's and the Colonial Market on our bikes. :)

Lots of interesting threads on the forum. Thanks for the entertainment and tidbits of knowledge, medical and otherwise. 

Timothy Lavelle

It might be a little late...check your church calendar...

Flaviar is the company. Advent calendar is the product. Whisky is the point. 

This is an Irish man's dream. 24 mini-whiskies from around the world to taste test...one each day! My lovely has suggested we start the morning with a tasting. That way she can have the whole house to herself all day while I sleep it off on the couch!

Women are so smart. Or just really devious... 

Mary Margaret Clark (Schultheis)

This was posted on Facebook this morning by Fritz Kaiser. I think everyone of us will relate.

Author unknown:

AND THEN IT IS WINTER You know. . . time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years.

It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all. I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams. But, here it is... the winter of my life and it catches me by surprise...How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go?

I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that winter was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like. But, here it is...my friends are retired and getting grey...they move slower and I see an older person now. Some are in better and some worse shape than me...but, I see the great change....Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant...but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd be.

Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore... it's mandatory! Cause if I don't on my own free will... I just fall asleep where I sit!

And so...now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!

But, at least I know, that though the winter has come, and I'm not sure how long it will last...this I know, that when it's over on this earth...it's NOT over. A new adventure will begin!

Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done...things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I'm happy to have done. It's all in a lifetime.

So, if you're not in your winter yet...let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly! Don't put things off too long!

Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not! You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life...so, live for today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember...and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!

"Life" is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. Make it a fantastic one.
LIVE IT WELL! ENJOY TODAY! DO SOMETHING FUN! BE HAPPY! HAVE A GREAT DAY!

REMEMBER:....
"It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.
"LIVE HAPPY IN THIS YEAR AND EVERY YEAR!

LASTLY, CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:
TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE SO - ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.
~Your kids are becoming you.......
~Going out is good.. Coming home is better!
~You forget names.... But it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!
~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything
~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.
~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It's called "pre-sleep".
~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..
~You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?"... "what?" . ???
~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.
~You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!
~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
~Everybody whispers.
~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet.... 2 of which you will never wear.
~But Old is good in some things: Old Songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!

It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived.

David Barbour

Thank you, MM.

DB

John Jackson

I also would like to affirm the last two postings from Tim and MM.  

For my birthday a few months back my kids gave me a 6-month Scotch-of-the-month club gift and it has definitely eased (made too easy?) my transition back into semi-isolation as the coronavirus rages and we geezers lower our profiles. If I go silent for a while, I'll re-appear if/when I get out of rehab.

And, as much as I (we?) are in denial, MM’s post (via Fritz Kaiser) has a lot of food for thought…

David Mitchell

John and Tim,

Since we all got orders to go home and shut up, I have dicovered a much better "tonic" to soothe the soul.

(Note: I said soul, not checkbook)

I was looking for a few items for my garden and I found this little shop on my computer. It's called Amazing - er, I mean, Amazon. I bought some garden tools and some seeds on this little shop, and they came real quick. All I had to do is punch some buttons and they they take my money and ship the stuff - in these cute little gray vans. It came right to my door really fast. Wow! That was easy, I thought to myself. So I clicked some more buttons and bought some more stuff, and sure enough, it came right away - like the first time. 

It got to be so much fun I began to spend half the day and night, pushing buttons and buying stuff. I got all the stuff anyone could ever want to build a raised bed garden and plant some vegetables and flowers in it. In fact I now have enough seeds and garden equipment to plant serveral thousand hectares with Bolivian Horseradish, Mogoglian Peppers, anti-nematode Spinach, North Korean Endive, Nebraska Purple and Orange Corn, and Tomatoes perfect for throwing at racoons. I also have about nine hundred plastic stakes, several thousand pounds of fertilizer, fourteen different types a garden rakes, and a trowel that plays top 40 music through the handle while you dig with it.    

I have often wished I could have a woodworking shop, so I thought I would try to order a few tools. I orderd some Japanes "Dozuki" pull saws, a new Makita Circular saw, a set of dril bits and a set of about 9,000 driver bits (I wouldn't want to ever not have the right bit driver), 18 diffrent varieties of clamps, several tool bags, a sliding miter saw, a set of calipers, several woodworkers squares, mortise chisels from England, and the list goes on.

It has gotten to be so much fun, especaily since I am saving so much money by not spending it on drinking. In fact, I have only spent about $68,986 and never had to go to a store to get the stuff.  

Michael McLeod

I don't post sports stories here very often but if you are as much of a Buckeye fan as I am you'll like this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKWERBQ6miM&feature=youtube

Michael McLeod

I disagree, John.

In fact I disagree on the most important part of your post.

For me it's Bourbon. 

Frank Ganley

This report is coming from the Snooker Emporium" at Chateau Francois; just relaxing a bit after 3 arduous days of fierce golfing battles  Bobby Curtin, Al Standish, Tom McKeon forces to defeat athletes from class of 67. I don't think anyone took any pics but all of us look great , feel great and lie. We wished everyone a happy thanksgiving and to quote Jim Valvano " never give up, never give up   NEVER GIVE UP "

David Mitchell

I have tried to avoid politics these last few trying weeks and have a little light fun with my "Oyster Chronicles". But I am unable to keep silent tonight.

I don't think I have ever cheered for, or given any notion of praise to anything to do with MICHIGAN in my life.

But I am doing so tonight.

No, not the Wolverines of Ann Arbor, and especially not their poor coach. 

I am congradulating the group of Michigan Republican legislators who visited the white House tonight and refused - in person - to give in to Donald Trump's request to change the outcome of the Biden victory in Michigan.

Apparantly, Trump actually asked them to replace members of the Michigan electoral college delegates with people who would change the outcome of the Michigan voters in his favor.

Unbelieveable!  Inconceivable!  Outrageous!  This has reached a point where this sick, selfish, sociopath (who has absolutely shredded any remaining digniity of my Republican party) has gone way past the limits of honor and decency.  

He needs to start packing his belongings - NOW.

(and come January, when his legal immunity disappears, let the lawsuits begin! ) 

Michael McLeod

Now you've done it Dave.

Opened your big mouth.

That subject is verboten.

So much more peaceful around here and respectful to others who may be feeling a little bitter about a touchy subject to avoid it.

You'll not see me bringing it up no sir.

Especially on a football Saturday.

Woody never said the M word out loud. Neither should you..

James Hamilton, M. D.

The "Critter Cam" Scores Again!

Nice of him to pose for the camera! Look at that neck, he is ready for the rut!

I have had the CC out for the past few days and nights and have been surprised how much the armed buck mule deer have been active in the dark. For some reason the videos of these bucks will not load on this Forum (AVI is the video mode that the camera records). Any suggestions from our more computer savvy classmates?

Jim