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05/30/19 01:01 PM #5442    

 

James Hamilton, M. D.

Dave B.,

Yeah, those were the good old days when the sound barrier could be broken (probably along with some windows) near populated areas. By the way, I was wrong about the date of graduation: it is today (going on right now with the President speaking as I type), not yesterday. My Bad!

Anyway, today is beautiful and the usual afternoon rain will probably hold off until after the TBirds show and flyover with the traditional cadet hat toss.

Jim


05/30/19 01:04 PM #5443    

 

David Mitchell

As many of you recall, the world took a sharp turn towards the mundane a few years ago. In one same year we stopped hearing "Omaha, Omaha" being yelled out from behind the the line of scrimmage in Denver Bronco games, AND we saw the conclusion of Downton Abbey - the finest TV series - EVER! 

I have been recoverig from that double whammy ever since - filling many of my days with prayers for those of us who number ourselves among the "lost tribe of Elway" and wishing that I could just KEEP CALM, and let Carson manage all that matters in my life.

They say hope springs eternal!

Just this week God has answered my prayers for renewed life. 

First, It has been announced that "Downton Abbey" the movie will be coming to the silver screen

- Thankyu Jeesuss!!!

And there are numerous sightings of "The Peyton" wandering a golf course in a place called Dublin, OHHHHH.

Truly there must be a God!


05/30/19 01:07 PM #5444    

 

David Mitchell

However, I do have a friend who suffers from doubt.

He is a dislexic, agnostic, insomniac.

He sits up all night wondering if there really is a doG


05/30/19 06:15 PM #5445    

 

Michael McLeod

I was just thinking that we had some pretty racy girls in our class.

I mean, the kind of girls who wouldn't wait until an hour after they ate to go swimming. 

That's how wild they were.


05/30/19 07:50 PM #5446    

 

David Mitchell

Didn't that give you polio?

(I always thought it was two hours)


05/30/19 08:11 PM #5447    

 

Mark Schweickart

For all you grammarian comedians out there who love telling jokes that begin with "A (fill in the blank) walks into a bar..." here's some silliness:

A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

A question mark walks into a bar?

A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out — we don’t serve your type.”

A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

A synonym strolls into a tavern.

At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar — fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.

A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.


05/31/19 01:07 AM #5448    

 

David Mitchell

All Hail the king!  

(I think we have a winner - the Forum is closed. There can be no better post after that - - - except for this one)

 

Mark,

I think this may be the funniest thing I have ever read. I can't decide which one is the funniest, and, truth be known, there were two or three that I don't even know the meaning of.

 

(I cannot recall what a gerund is - nor do I know what a chiasmus is. But am damn sure they are both funny)

 

05/31/19 08:38 AM #5449    

 

Michael McLeod

I am so using this in class, Mark.


05/31/19 09:01 AM #5450    

 

Michael McLeod

Hey I looked up that swimming after eating thing. It was 30 minutes. My parents enforced it, I do remember. The theory, since disproved, was that your blood supply and thus your energy was diverted to your digestive tract so you'd have less energy to stay afloat. And Dave don't try to trick me you know damn well you got polio from eating ice cream.


05/31/19 10:43 AM #5451    

 

Mark Schweickart

Dave & Mike - so glad you were amused. To be clear, I certainly did not write this. I wish I had. It was just a facebook re-post that my wife sent me, but a damn wonderful one. And I too did not know what a chiasmus was. And I had to think about the last one for a while before I got the joke about hyphenated and non-hyphenated ("non-hyphenated" being the word with a hyphen, and "hyphenated" being the one without). Sorry, I know I shouldn't explain a joke, but I thought others might be scratching their heads on that one also.


05/31/19 11:12 AM #5452    

 

David Mitchell

Oh Mark,

I thought the hyphenated one was one of the best.

I would like to meet the person that wrote that.


05/31/19 12:31 PM #5453    

Timothy Lavelle

Was Sr Antonio the tall young one who taught geometry? That was a good class where I actually enjoyed learning something. Pythagoras, you wild man you.  She and Sr Gilmary are good memories for me. 

Mark, google "eggcorn". Intensive purposes. Your article is so good. Great choice to pass along. I honestly enjoyed diagramming sentences once upon a,  and the first thing was to identify the adjectives and adverbs and so on as you remember. Yeah, interesting...I loved the noun turning down the conjugation addicted verb! But a turkey flying in a strong wind...love that.    


05/31/19 12:48 PM #5454    

 

Michael McLeod

I'd say Mark's post was useful for all intensive porpoises. 

 


05/31/19 03:37 PM #5455    

 

David Mitchell

 Mike,

the ones swimming off the end of my dock are not so intensive. 

---------------

Tim's post reminds me of a conversation with Keith Groff some years back. Keith has taught English, Writing, and Lingusitics and I don't know what all, literally around the world. He was telling me one time about a period when he was a Prof. at Boise State.

(that was all before Eastern Oregon, Brazil, Egypt, Hungary, Philadelphia, and finally Franklin Univ in Columbus as their founding Dean of the new School of Arts and Sciences - you should see his C.V. !!) 

He was saying how often he received compliments from his own fellow professors (at Boise State), and was repeatedly asked how he became so good with grammar, sentence strucure, etc. And he told me he always gave the same answer; "I was taught by Dominican nuns".

 


05/31/19 03:43 PM #5456    

 

David Mitchell

Just splicing a few thougths together from differenct posts here.

I wonder if Pythagorus went back in the pool before 30 minutes was up after lunch?

I just know that Sister Norbertine was quite adament about the square of the hypotenuse - cause that's just the way she rocked!


06/02/19 01:43 PM #5457    

 

John Maxwell

Pretty funny.

Fr. Durbin: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Fr. VanHorn: I don't know.
Fr. Durbin: To get to your house.

Fr. Durbin: Knock, knock.
Fr. VanHorn: Who's there?
Fr. Durbin: The chicken.

This proves it doesn't take much to amuse me.

06/02/19 08:59 PM #5458    

 

David Mitchell

Thanks Jack.

At least someone is trying to break the sad silence.

Here's my attempt at some good cheer.

 

Happy Birthday Larry


06/03/19 12:26 AM #5459    

 

David Mitchell

Maybe we could all use a little pick-me-up?

"Playing for Change" is sort of a World Peace Through Music kinda thing.        Found this about 6 years ago. Almost forgot about it.

Enjoy.

 




06/03/19 12:25 PM #5460    

 

John Maxwell

And here all this time I thought you lost your sense of humor, Dave. But then I half expected to trade recipies on this site. I was kinda hoping to find out how to make Sopaipilla or Beurre noire and curried apricots. And, besides Larry Foster, who are the other great American artists, what's popular on tv now, where to get a deal on Grecian antiquities? I really sound like I'm whining. After interviewing some of the other forum readers out there it has come to my attention that, although grateful that the forum was begun, it has digressed to just a few dominant contributors, that seem to repel some and intimidate others, resulting in less contributions. I believe in optimization. So if anyone has woodworking tips, auto maintainence suggestions, how to: manage retirement funds or scams being run on old people. I guess everyone could use some help now and then, and this site could provide some. Or not. I'm probably dreaming again.
Please don't think me too critical of everyone's contributions, I'm just sensitive to the diversity of our group and yet we all bonded at some time or another, so it just makes sense to be encouraging to each other in contributing to the forum. People want to, but are intimidated by the some of the sensational aspects of others. Me, I don't. I could care less about the glory of war,or the proper use of grammar or puntuation?#×.;". I just want to have fun. Maybe if some of the major contributors could take a sabbatical others might come to the party and more folks can be heard. You know, the often forgotten. If I've offended anyone, good. Consider it payback. It's a delicate balance I know, but we all have value and who knows maybe someone could rock our worlds with a phrase or two. So I'm inviting more contributions from all those who wish. If anyone wants to give me a piece of their mind, please do off-line in private. I'm not just all mouth. I got ears to. I really don't want to regret this posting, I'm sorry if I've offended anyone.

06/03/19 02:03 PM #5461    

 

Mark Schweickart

Jack -- I think I can speak for Jim, Mike and Dave, who along with myself seem to hog the cyber airwaves here, and say that we agree with you, and in fact, like you, have many times complained that we are not getting enough other voices on the site. So to all of you readers-only out there, let me join Jack, and urge you to please write something. Although I will take exception to Jack's wanting to hear about recipes for curried apricots. I am sure we can do better than that.

And in violation of this newly-called-for discontinuation of the non-stop call-and-response among the aforementioned hogpen-ees, I would like to thank Dave for that video of Stand By Me. That was a terrific.

Okay, so now I will shut up for a few days and see how it goes.

Everyone into the hogpen! The mud and slop need replenishing. Plus it is a great way to wallow away a few minutes each day.

 


06/04/19 11:18 AM #5462    

 

Michael McLeod

Sure, I'll take a break.

But I'll first chime in with another theory about why some folks are more likely to turn up here than others. Actually I will just speak for myself: It's just easier for me to comment here than it might be for others because I'm here in my office most days at the keyboard anyway -- and I like writing just for the hell of it, as opposed to writing to get paid. It's a nice change of pace and limbers up my overtaxed neural pathways.

Also living away from home for so long it's great to be connected to Columbus in some way.

But as Philip Roth once said: "Goodbye, Columbus!"

For the time being, anyway.

 

 


06/04/19 12:36 PM #5463    

 

Kathleen Wintering (Nagy)

2019 Happy Birthday, Bill Lehner! Kathy W.


06/04/19 12:45 PM #5464    

 

Kathleen Wintering (Nagy)

Dave, I think I remember that a gerund ends in " ing' and  is used as a noun???  KW.


06/04/19 01:56 PM #5465    

 

David Mitchell

Thank you Kathy.

You remind me of an interesting quote from a well known journalist in Denver years ago. His name was Gene Amole and he did interviews and played classical music on a local public radio station. He also wrote a column for one fo the Denver newspapers. He told a story about his first job with the paper as a young staff writer. His first boss told him to always make sure his desk was close to a Catholic girl on the staff, because they always know how to spell and use correct grammar.

------------

I think the reason for so many posts from a certain group is related to the distance from Columbus, but only includes those far away members who were in attendance at th 50th. I believe Pythagorus would have written the equation as follows:

50th + J.B. X  #(Mi-C) + ikb = VV

 

where;

J.B. = that girl from Bexley

#Mi-C = number of miles from Columbus

ikb = idle keyboards

VV = (verbage volume) 

* I just know how desperately Mike loves to have averything expressed algebraically


06/04/19 01:56 PM #5466    

 

David Mitchell

Or is it simply that the 6 of us have big mouths?


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