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Timothy Lavelle
!!FLASH NEWS....FLASH NEWS...FLASH NEWS!!
I believe that I have invented the very best holiday to ever be invented. Just try to imagine how excited you will be when you first hear "Happy Elevensy" from family and in-the-know friends.
Elevensy Day celebrants get special presents. Stuff like Super Bowl tickets or that never attended fab honeymoon, or that all guys trip to NYC to see first run plays.
Birthdays come yearly. Christmas comes yearly. Anniversaries are numbered, again, by the year.
Ellevensy Day first occurs when you turn.....good guess class!...11!
Then, you wait until the two numbers of your age are the same...22...33...44...55...an on. So that every eleven(sy) years you get to have a super special "Ellevensy Day Birthday".
BONUS: in 2025 many of us will enjoy our seventh "Elevensy Day" as we turn 77. I'd like the Super Bowl Tickets please.
UPDATE:
A call this morning from Mike Perry. CEO of Hallmark. They want to call it "Double Dig-It Day" and their offer is unbelievable. Keep the super bowl tickets. I'm going to Mars!
OKAY...OKAY...PRETTY SURE THIS IS THE LAST UPDATE B4 XMAS...
In a huge let-down, I have to announce "The whole deal is off."
The CEO of Hallmark got together with E-Entertainment to advertise the "latest birthday bash" but the joint group had some stipulations. The requirement was that I buy two pillows from some guy, then I had to listen to John Cougar Meloncamp for eight hours straight.
Please believe that I did not let you down...for a trip to Mars I decided that I would buy and listen as required.
But when they then returned and said "Last requirement, you have to vote for Trump" the whole flippin' thing went to crap.
Enjoy your "Elevensy Day" next year privately, with a smug smile as we all celebrate under the guidance of our first female "Guider-in-Chief".
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